THREE P’S FOR MARRIAGE

INTRODUCTION

1) There’s always something spectacular about a wedding,

isn’t there?

In August 1984,

about this time of the year,

Jayne Rowe and Ron McIntyre planned their marriage ceremony.

They decided to have an outdoor wedding,

just north of London.

They picked a perfect spot in an open field.

There was a split‑rail gate there,

that was normally used for horse‑jumping,

and they turned it into a nice little platform

that would serve as the altar.

And the meadow itself was filled with wild flowers.

It was a beautiful setting for a wedding!

When they sent out their invitations,

they enclosed a little map,

to make sure everyone could find the place.

And everyone got there on time.

Even Jayne was there right on time!

But Ron was missing.

Nobody knew what was keeping him.

They waited for a while,

first laughing,

and joking,

and kidding each other

that he’d gotten cold feet,

and he was backing out

at the last minute.

But then they started getting worried.

Where was Ron?

Had something happened to him?

The only person who didn’t seem concerned

was Jayne!

She just stood there,

like a beautiful bride!

And then they heard an airplane buzzing overhead.

And they looked up.

And they saw someone jump from the plane.

And then they knew.

Ron loved skydiving.

And in a few minutes,

he landed right next to Jayne!

He stripped off his parachute,

and he stood there in his silver‑gray tuxedo.

And the wedding went on as planned.

Now that’s spectacular!

2) But every wedding is spectacular,

isn’t it?

I hope this is the most spectacular day of your lives,

at least up to this point.

You look so good together!

And we’re all excited with you!

Weddings are wonderful occasions.

3) But you need more than a wonderful wedding

to keep you married,

don’t you?

You need more than a spectacular ceremony

to make your vows stick,

and to make your relationship secure.

Ron and Jayne McIntyre can spend the rest of their lives

showing others the pictures of their spectacular wedding.

But it won’t keep them together.

And you can take your wedding album off the shelf every day

and remember these delightful moments.

But that won’t keep your marriage going, either.

You know that.

We all know that.

4) And that’s why the text for today is so special.

It’s about life.

It’s about faith.

It’s about things that matter.

And it speaks about marriage too.

Here’s the confession you make today:

We wait in hope for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

even as we put our hope in you! (Psalm 33:20‑22)

5) That’s beautiful!

That’s spectacular!

And it contains three ideas

that will anchor your marriage securely:

PATIENCE,

PLEASURE, and

PRAYER.

I. PATIENCE (vs. 20)

1) You say today:

We wait in hope for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield! (vs. 20)

And in that testimony,

you make a great confession.

You commit yourselves to patience.

You say,

Even though we’ve got a good relationship today . . .

Even though things have gone well for us . . .

Even though we know this is the right thing for us . . .

We know it’s not all it could be.

We know there’s more to come.

We know there are even some difficult times ahead.

And we need patience in our marriage.

2) On July 21, 1984,

a starter’s pistol went off in Palmer, Alaska.

And 288 construction workers leaped into action!

In 3 hours,

53 minutes,

and 59.49 seconds,

they completely built a brand‑new house

for Rocky and Pat Weldon.

There was a live country‑and‑western band at the site

giving them some background music.

And over 6,000 spectators cheered them on!

Can you imagine that?

An “instant” house!

In less than 4 hours!

And then,

just to top it all off,

they had all their furniture brought in,

in less than four minutes!

What a show!

3) But instant houses

don’t make instant homes!

And spectacular weddings

don’t guarantee spectacular marriages.

It’s patience that we need,

isn’t it?

Patience that waits through the tough times.

Patience that looks for tomorrow.

Patience that doesn’t fall out of love.

After all,

isn’t that what love is all about?

Love is patient . . .

says the Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13.

And today you say,

with the Psalmist:

We wait in hope for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield!

4) We don’t need patience

when things are going our way,

when everything’s smooth sailing,

when life is fun and festive.

We need patience for the rough times,

for the hard times,

for the difficult moments,

when our natural tendency is to let go.

That’s why patience comes with faith in God.

He is our help and our shield! says the Psalmist.

He’s the only one who holds our tomorrows in his hand.

And if disease

or disaster

or even death threaten your relationship,

you know that God is bigger than them.

And that gives your marriage strength!

5) A woman named Mary Branson

tells of the time she was driving their new family car.

Her husband was so proud of it!

He just loved showing it off to others.

But now she was on her way to the grocery store,

and a car ran right through a red light,

and sideswiped her.

Their new car was a wreck.

And Mary was so upset.

The police officers came,

and they asked to see the insurance papers.

And that’s when Mary found this little note.

It was tucked inside the folder,

with the registration papers

and the pink slip for insurance.

It was in her husband’s handwriting:

Dear Mary,

it said,

When you need these papers,

remember that it’s you I love,

not the car!

And that’s what she needed to hear.

That’s what she needed to know.

6) And so with you today.

Whatever may happen in your lives together,

for all the tomorrows that you’ll know,

you’ve got a message from God:

I’ll always be there for you!

he says.

You can count on me!

Your times are in my hand!

And that’s where patience begins.

II. PLEASURE (vs. 21)

1) And then there’s the second part of your testimony today.

It speaks of pleasure.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name! (vs. 21)

Weddings are always festive occasions.

You’ll smile so much today

with all your excitement

and all the time you’ll have to stand and greet people

in the receiving line.

By tonight you’ll look at each other,

and you’ll say:

Oh,

it feels so good to frown!

2) But if we asked you:

Would you rather laugh

or cry?

you know what you’d choose.

“Laughter makes the world go round!”

they say.

And we know it’s true.

3) And if you look into the future,

at the way you hope your marriage will be,

you’d like to see a lot of laughter.

You’d like to know that you’re going to enjoy it.

You’d like to have fun in your relationship.

And that’s where your testimony today is so important.

What makes you smile the most?

When do you feel the best about life?

One writer tells about a fellow who got this letter

from his old girlfriend:

Dearest Jimmy,

No words could ever express the great unhappiness

I’ve felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you’ll

take me back. No one could ever take your place in my

heart, so please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I

love you!

Yours forever,

Marie

P.S. And congratulations on winning the lottery!

But it’s not really money that’ll make you happy,

is it?

And it’s not really possessions that’ll give you pleasure.

Isn’t it a sense of belonging?

Isn’t it the security of being loved?

Isn’t it the warmth of a meaningful relationship?

4) And that’s where your marriage has such a good start.

Both of you are Christians.

Both of you have said:

God loves me!

I belong to him!

Both of you confess today:

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name!

And that’s why the pleasure you know today

is more than just a momentary thing.

You feel good about yourselves

because you know that God feels good about you!

And you feel good about each other,

because you know that God enjoys your relationship

as much as you do.

5) A little girl came home from Sunday School one day,

and she was telling her folks about the lesson.

It was the story of Adam and Eve.

She said:

First God made Adam.

And then he stepped back,

and he took a look at Adam,

and he said to himself:

“I can do better than that!”

So then he made Eve!

Well,

the Bible doesn’t tell it quite that way.

But the Bible does say that God intended for us

to find pleasure

and fulfillment

and delight in our marriage relationships.

God is delighted when we find him.

And he’s delighted when we find that one other person

who shares our values

and our goals

and our desires in life.

Jesus himself said:

What God has joined together,

let no one separate!

6) And when you know his pleasure about your relationship,

it’s a lot more fun for the two of you as well.

III. PRAYER (vs. 22)

1) And then comes that last line in your testimony today:

It’s really a prayer,

isn’t it?

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

even as we put our hope in you! (vs. 22)

2) You need PATIENCE to make your marriage good.

And you need PLEASURE to make it delightful.

And God promises you those things.

But you also need PRAYER.

You need to pray together

in order to make your marriage beautiful.

Some time ago,

Macleans magazine carried several stories about marriage

in the last decades of this century.

In one article,

they quoted a 23‑year‑old woman.

She said:

No matter how hard I try to erase the idea,

I really want to get married.

Even with my parents and all my grandparents divorced,

I believe in commitment.

In fact,

I want a huge wedding with bridesmaids,

a partner for my whole life,

and a family.

It’s a challenge,

and the optimism I have is funny to me.

But if I’m lucky . . . ..

3) “If I’m lucky . . .”

“If I’m lucky . . .”

Is that how you’re thinking today?

“If we’re lucky . . .

maybe our marriage will survive.”

“If we’re lucky . . .

maybe we’ll make this one last.”

“If we’re lucky . . . “

4) It’s not that way for you,

is it?

Luck has very little to do with what you’re up to today.

If it was only luck,

then you could just go off to the courthouse,

and get the thing made legal.

If it was only luck,

then you could just move in together,

and let it happen.

But it’s not luck.

This world’s not a place of luck.

This world is held in the hands of the Father,

and it operates under the guidance of his Providential care.

And what we need,

we receive from him.

That’s why you come here,

to church,

to speak your vows of marriage.

You want more than luck.

You want God’s blessing.

You want God’s help.

You want God’s touch to make your marriage strong.

5) It isn’t a magic formula.

It’s no guarantee that you won’t have any problems in your marriage.

But it’s the only place to start.

And it’s the only place to continue.

God made marriage.

God made each of you.

God brought the two of you together.

And your prayers will be a daily testimony to that.

CONCLUSION

1) So you have a great start today.

You have a spectacular beginning for your lives together.

May God give you much PATIENCE to make your marriage strong.

And may he give you much PLEASURE to make it delightful.

And may your PRAYERS together make it beautiful!

Blessings!